Skip to main content

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 7. Outcast




This is not the story I would have chosen to write. But I am mindful of the subject and that this man's behaviour was such that it affected members of a generation that are still living. The man in question is long dead, but he is not here to defend himself and therefore I am using personal experiences and comments from others. So there is no named person in this story and I am writing from a personal perspective, with minimal detail and information.

The gentleman is question was bought up by his grandparents as their own, when their unmarried daughter gave birth to him whilst unmarried. His adoptive siblings, therefore his blood Aunt's and Uncle's were unaware of his parentage and that he was not in fact their brother. There is a story that he too was unaware of his place in the family until he was called up to serve in the 2nd World War.

But this is not the reason that I would consider him as an 'outcast'. His adoptive mother was said to have described him as 'Not like other men,' but as other's in the more recent family have described as 'having an unhealthy interest in little girls.'

So where do I come into all this. I remember staying with my Nan, I had to play a game of hiding in the cupboard under the stairs when anyone knocked on the door, it also a game I played when my Grandad was due home, obviously he always knew I was there and would have a book and sweets in his bag, ready for me, when I would 'surprise' him when he put his cap, coat and bag in the cupboard. So, hiding under the stairs, when there were visitors, was a continuation of this game. It was only in more recent years that my mother explained the reason for 'the game.' The man was the local gas meter reader for my Nan's area.

We have family photo's taken by the gentleman in question, and he often suggested that he was happy to babysit at any time. My mother felt uncomfortable in the prescence of this man, so much so that she voiced her dislike and stated that he was no longer a welcome visitor. For years she carried the thought that her decision compounded my Dad's estrangement from his family.

It was only in the last decade that the full story emerged, the result of my interest in my family history and making contact with various cousins. One cousin was sadly a victim of this man, and she believes her mother too. There is much more to this story, but it is not my story to tell, although I know my cousin has wanted her story to be told and not hidden. It was when I relayed her experiences to my Mum, my Dad had died before this, that the whole story re the 'hiding' game and her relief that her discomfort around this family member and her instincts were correct.

 






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

52 Ancestors 52 Weeks: Week 12. Loss. WILLIAM & ELIZA PITTS

This is the story of my Great Grandparents, who experienced so much loss within their lives, not least the death of 4 sons before reaching adulthood and ultimately their marriage to each other. WILLIAM RICHARD PITTS , the eldest son of Thomas and Esther Pitts of Sherborne Gloucestershire, b. 11 Sept 1876 married ELIZA DEANEY , the daughter of Frank and Ann Deaney nee Dean of Holmer Green, Buckinghamshire b. 5 April 1878. From the agricultural rural areas of English countryside by 1900,William  had found his way to London, probably to obtain work. On thE 4th August 1900 William and Eliza were married at Eliza's local parish church in Little Missenden, Buckinghamshire. Little Missenden Church British History Online                                                                                                                                           crown copyright. Married life started in Paddington, in the 1901 census they are living at Hall Place in Paddington, William is working

52 Ancestors 52 weeks: Week 10: The Names the Same.

  5 x GREAT GRANDFATHER THOMAS PYE YEOMAN OF BREDGAR  OR  ADMIRAL SIR THOMAS PYE?   My 2x Great Grandfather was George Pye (1819-1855), his eldest brother being  Thomas Pye  of Wrinsted, Kent. My 3x Great Grandfather was  Thomas Pye  of Charing, Kent. (1787-1833) spouse Maria Cromp(e) nee Weeks My 4x Great Grandfather was  Thomas Pye  of Bredgar, Kent. (1753-1824) spouse Jane Hudson My 5x Great Grandfather was  Thomas Pye  of Bredgar , Kent. (?-1786) spouse Susannah Spencer It is probable that  Thomas Pye  of Lynsted, Kent, was his father, however at present I have been unable to authenticate this assertion. As you can see there are a lot of Thomas Pye’s, but then with family naming patterns there are significant others in and around the area, the sons of brothers, so sifting through the various Thomas’ within the Kent area is a long job. Muddying the waters is  Admiral Sir Thomas Pye  sometimes cited within Ancestry trees as the same man as my 5x Great Grandfather

52 Ancestors 52 Weeks: Week 14. Great. ANN DEANEY nee DEAN

  Having already written about both pairs of my paternal blood GREAT-GRANDPARENTS. I decided to look at my ancestors who reached a 'great age'.  Although there is no-one who has reached 100, there are several who have reached their 90's. My adoptive Grandmother died aged 96. I am eternally grateful to her doctor who identified 'old age' as the cause of death, with heart failure as a secondary cause. For me, there is something reassurring when you see 'old age' as it implies a life lived rather than disease endured. My Great Grandfather's second wife reached the age of 98, but I am focusing on my 2x Great Grandmother ANN DEANEY nee DEAN , who reached the age of 99. * Note the surname Deaney is often interchanged with the name Daney and documents may be found under either spelling. For the purpose of this blog and ease of reading all sunames are identified as Deaney. ANN DEAN 1855-1954    Ann was the 2nd of 10 children and eldest daughter of William &