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52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 7. Outcast




This is not the story I would have chosen to write. But I am mindful of the subject and that this man's behaviour was such that it affected members of a generation that are still living. The man in question is long dead, but he is not here to defend himself and therefore I am using personal experiences and comments from others. So there is no named person in this story and I am writing from a personal perspective, with minimal detail and information.

The gentleman is question was bought up by his grandparents as their own, when their unmarried daughter gave birth to him whilst unmarried. His adoptive siblings, therefore his blood Aunt's and Uncle's were unaware of his parentage and that he was not in fact their brother. There is a story that he too was unaware of his place in the family until he was called up to serve in the 2nd World War.

But this is not the reason that I would consider him as an 'outcast'. His adoptive mother was said to have described him as 'Not like other men,' but as other's in the more recent family have described as 'having an unhealthy interest in little girls.'

So where do I come into all this. I remember staying with my Nan, I had to play a game of hiding in the cupboard under the stairs when anyone knocked on the door, it also a game I played when my Grandad was due home, obviously he always knew I was there and would have a book and sweets in his bag, ready for me, when I would 'surprise' him when he put his cap, coat and bag in the cupboard. So, hiding under the stairs, when there were visitors, was a continuation of this game. It was only in more recent years that my mother explained the reason for 'the game.' The man was the local gas meter reader for my Nan's area.

We have family photo's taken by the gentleman in question, and he often suggested that he was happy to babysit at any time. My mother felt uncomfortable in the prescence of this man, so much so that she voiced her dislike and stated that he was no longer a welcome visitor. For years she carried the thought that her decision compounded my Dad's estrangement from his family.

It was only in the last decade that the full story emerged, the result of my interest in my family history and making contact with various cousins. One cousin was sadly a victim of this man, and she believes her mother too. There is much more to this story, but it is not my story to tell, although I know my cousin has wanted her story to be told and not hidden. It was when I relayed her experiences to my Mum, my Dad had died before this, that the whole story re the 'hiding' game and her relief that her discomfort around this family member and her instincts were correct.

 






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